Mina's Story

Mina is a registered nurse in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit at Seattle Children's Hospital where she cares for children and their families through their journey with congenital heart disease. Seattle, WA

What happened during or as a result of your journey with Ecology of Awakening? How would you describe the outcome?

I’ve been trying to think of how to simply put into words the answer to this question when it feels so beyond words. I think the most concise way of putting it is this: Everything slowed down. It feels like all of life slowed down so that I could see and appreciate everything in a way I’ve never been able to experience before, especially in the natural world.

I also feel there was an internal slowing down that allowed me to explore within myself my own existence and what it means to be me. While I’ve always felt quite connected with who it is to be me, the why and what have been the places I’ve gotten lost. And though I by no means have it completely figured out (nor do I anticipate I ever will) the EOA journey gave me structure and community through which I could openly explore these questions. At the same time, finding ways to express who I am has always been a challenge, especially to find ways to share my true self outwardly. Again, the EOA village was SUCH a supportive container that held any and everything that wanted to be shared or expressed by any member. To find such a safe and supportive means of letting out what wants to come out truly helped me find ways to live outwardly what has always felt alive inside.

My deepest longing in this lifetime is to do good on this earth; to find a way to leave her better than I found her. I have always felt overwhelmed by this, as if nothing I could do would ever be enough. In struggling with this, I felt the calling to deepen into my interconnectedness with all of life. I feel so much gratitude that EOA provided me with the perfect framework to be able to explore this in myself, with our village, and on the land with all beings. I will be forever grateful for the way EOA changed the way I walk through this world, how it allowed me to see myself in everything and know that doing good, in and of itself, is always enough.

Expressions: Poetry and Music*

Poetry and Music introduction:

Expression through words has never felt like the way I want to or can express myself fully. After our very first group council I felt that more strongly than ever and I wasn't sure how I was going to move through that. The next day while out walking on the land I felt so peacefully blissful in a way that I now realize seems to come when I've deepened into my connection with Life. On my walk back to basecamp I started to worry about whether I was going to have to try to find words to express this. Then literally within seconds an entire poem appeared in my head and I pulled out my journal and scribbled it down while walking. It felt like a gift from the land saying, "here, there are ways outside of spoken language for you to share". 

Like with poetry, I've also been opened to the expressive and connecting power of music making. While music has always been a part of my life I've never been comfortable or confident using it as a form of self-expression. The trust and safety I found in my EOA circle woven with the freedom and deep connection I feel when out on the land created a space for me that made expression through singing feel natural. I was able to let go of worrying about whether or not it "sounded good" and simply let it be what it is and wants to be. While writing and reflecting after completion of my yearlong Ecology of Awakening journey this sort of sung-poem-lilting-lullaby emerged that feels a bit like a capturing of my experience.